~Eric Matthew's monologue~

What is your testimony?

Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the results of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

2 Corinthians 3:1-3

As I was cleaning my room during Chinese New Year (I was too lazy to do it before that), I came across all the testimonies that I have received from school and military. Reading through them, I was flattered by all the beautiful remarks and recommendations that had been written about me. Yet, it did not take me too long to wonder if I am truly the great person that is written in all these testimonies. Many a times we look to others to define ourselves. We seek the regard and acknowledgement of others for our efforts, our abilities, our competencies, even, our personalities; we establish our sense of self-worth on things others say about us. Moreover, we take pride in all these praises and approvals, attributing all that is good to ourselves. But these testimonies were written by men and they only observed me when I was before them – probably when I put on my best performance, etiquette and attitude. What would God have written about me if He is the one to pen it?

The Lord does not look at thing man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

1 Samuel 16:7

The Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct.

Jeremiah 17:10

I suppose many of my supposed ‘good deeds’ and ‘great works’ would be nullified if my testimony had been written by God. Because many things that I did were to gain favor or show off my talents before men whom I thought as worthy - men who would write great things about me that satisfies my own pride and presents a favorable impression of me to others.

If my mercy, love and righteousness comes from my corrupt mind and deceitful heart, then I’ll always have mercy but never merciful, always love but never loving, always upright but never righteous.

I thank God for showing this major flaw that is hidden in me for too long. Brothers and sisters, I hope that every good thing that we do comes from the heart. Let us not perform and gain favor, let us not act and desire praises, but let all the good deeds that are done be true and honest. For all good that is done doesn’t earn us anything, but it gains glory for Him who teaches us to be such. Let us lead our lives in a way that when we see Jesus, the testimony that He writes about our lives will be one that is pleasing to Him.